Designing for Kids: Creating an Ethical Framework for Digital Play
Designing digital experiences for kids means balancing creativity with responsibility. Here’s my proposal for a new standard in child-focused design.
My son just turned one last month.
In the days leading up to his birthday, we were swimming in new toys; from stacking rings, puzzles, soft books, musical things I instantly regretted turning on, etc. As I unpacked them, I noticed the labels: BPA-free, meets ASTM safety standards, not for children under 3, and so on. Every item had clearly been through some kind of review before making it into his hands.
That made me pause.
What are the safety regulations for the digital toys he’ll encounter next?
Apps. Games. Learning tools. Streaming platforms. What standards exist to make sure those experiences are safe, developmentally appropriate, and not quietly exploiting him for clicks, data, or cash?
I couldn’t think of many. Beyond COPPA and GDPR-K , which mostly focus on data, there isn’t much oversight for the design of digital experiences for children.
So I started wondering:
What if we, as designers, created our own set of ethical standards for kids’ UX?
Because if we’re thoughtful about what we put in front of young minds, we can build things that are joyful, empowering, and safe. So I set out to create a framework of ethical standards to hold myself accountable and figured others might find it useful.
Why Design for Kids Is Different
Children aren’t just smaller users. They’re still developing cognitively, emotionally, and socially. What might seem harmless to an adult can have a very different impact on a child.
- Impulse control is still forming
- Reading comprehension may be limited or just emerging
- Financial literacy is basically nonexistent
And yet, many apps aimed at kids use the same engagement tricks as apps designed for adults, only with fewer safeguards. Hidden subscriptions, manipulative reward loops, autoplay defaults, and data collection all feel especially gross when the user can’t yet read a privacy policy.
If we require physical toys to meet safety standards before they land in a child’s hands, shouldn’t we expect the same from the digital products they use just as often?
A Personal Example: Reading Raven
Years ago, I was the designer for Reading Raven, an early literacy app built for children ages 3 to 7. The goal was simple: help kids learn to read through fun, self-paced interactions.
We designed it with clear voice guidance, drag-and-drop exercises, playful feedback, and no ads. No dark patterns. No time pressure. No surprise purchases. Just a calm, intuitive environment where kids could explore and learn at their own pace.
It was featured by Apple, praised by educators, and loved by parents , not because it went viral, but because it respected its audience.
That experience shaped how I think about ethical UX today. It showed me that building for kids requires a different lens. One that puts learning, safety, and joy ahead of metrics like “time in app” or “daily active users.”
The Ethical Framework: A Starting Point
Here’s a rough first draft of the principles I believe should guide ethical design for children.
1. Design for Different Developmental Stages
Kids aren’t just “small adults.” Their cognitive abilities, motor skills, reading levels, and emotional development vary widely as they grow , and your UX should reflect that. Here’s how to design age-appropriate experiences:
Ages 2–5: Pre-readers with developing motor skills and short attention spans
At this stage, children are exploring the world through touch. Reading is not yet part of their experience, and fine motor skills are still emerging.
- Use large tap targets to support uncoordinated fingers.
- Eliminate any need for reading ; audio, icons, and animations should carry the interface.
- Keep interactions single-step; no complex flows.
- Remove all access to purchases . Accidental taps are guaranteed.
Ages 6–8: Early readers who enjoy rewards and repetition but still need guidance
Kids in this range begin to read and develop stronger hand-eye coordination. They love earning rewards but still need help navigating digital spaces.
- Provide simple, predictable navigation.
- Ensure actions have clear cause and effect.
- Add optional reading support like tooltips or audio.
- Use positive reinforcement (badges, sounds, animations) that’s encouraging , not manipulative.
- Stick to consistent metaphors to reinforce learning.
- Limit decision-making with fewer choices per screen.
Ages 9–12: Increasing independence, critical thinking, and social awareness
These users are capable of more abstract thinking and expect more autonomy. They’re also starting to become privacy-aware and socially engaged.
- Let them customize their experience (themes, avatars, settings).
- Make systems transparent . Explain how things work.
- Respect autonomy with opt-ins rather than forced flows.
- Allow for growing complexity in tasks and features.
- Set privacy settings to safe defaults and clearly explain them.
2. Trust Over Trickery
Just because you can nudge a kid to click “Buy Now” doesn’t mean you should.
- Avoid surprise subscriptions or confusing popups.
- Make exits and close buttons easy to find.
- Turn off chat-by-default features, especially with strangers.
- Don’t store payment info unless protected by verified parental controls.
If a product relies on tricking children into engagement or payment, it shouldn’t exist.
3. Clear Communication Over Text-Heavy Interfaces
Many kids aren’t strong readers yet. And those who can read are still building comprehension skills.
- Use clear, familiar icons.
- Supplement text with voice, visuals, and animations.
- Limit choices to reduce overwhelm.
- Be literal. Avoid sarcasm, irony, or metaphor unless developmentally appropriate.
Clarity builds confidence. Confusion breeds frustration.
4. Use Feedback Thoughtfully
Kids love responsive design. Sparkles, sound effects, bouncing stars go hand-in-hand with most children’s apps. It makes the system feel alive and encourages exploration.
But it can also veer into compulsive territory.
- Use delight to reinforce learning or effort.
- Avoid infinite reward loops, fake scarcity, or endless points systems.
- Celebrate progress without manufacturing FOMO.
5. Make Safety the Default
Children are vulnerable users. It’s our job to protect them, not just comply with regulations.
- Comply with COPPA and GDPR-K.
- Collect the absolute minimum data.
- Never share personal info without verified, meaningful consent.
- Include built-in screen time controls and quiet modes.
- Don’t rely on kids to manage their own privacy.
Safety should be assumed, not optional.
6. Delight With Purpose
Designing for kids gives us permission to use joy as a design tool. That’s a gift.
But joy should never be empty.
- A talking cat that teaches spelling? Perfect.
- A dancing robot that rewards effort? Great.
- A pop-up unicorn that sells tokens for real money? Hard pass.
Delight should support development. Not distract from it.
7. Test Like a Playground Supervisor
Kids use digital products differently than adults expect. Don’t assume. Watch.
- Observe without guiding.
- Test with real users in the actual age group.
- Look for signs of confusion, not just verbal feedback.
- Expect chaos. Plan for it.
If a kid can’t navigate your app without help, the design needs to change, not the child.
8. Accessibility and Inclusivity
Children come with a wide range of abilities, learning styles, and sensory needs. Ethical design must include them all.
- Support assistive technologies like screen readers and voice interaction.
- Use more than color to communicate (pair visuals with sound or text).
- Allow flexible pacing , don’t penalize slower responses.
- Reduce overwhelming visuals, sounds, or animations that can trigger sensory overload.
- Represent diverse backgrounds, cultures, and abilities in characters and content.
Accessible design isn’t an add-on. It’s the baseline.
9. Design With Parents, Not Against Them
Parents and caregivers are part of the experience. Good design helps them guide, not fight with, their kids.
- Provide clear, simple parent dashboards or summaries.
- Offer co-play or joint learning modes.
- Frame limits positively (e.g., “time for a break” instead of “you’re locked out”).
- Make parental controls easy to set and transparent in function.
- Never put parents in the position of being tricked or bypassed.
When parents are supported, kids feel supported too.
Moving Toward Standards That Stick
This list isn’t complete. It’s a starting point. A conversation.
Maybe one day there will be a widely accepted set of UX standards for kids’ digital products. Something like the ASTM safety standards for toys, only focused on interaction patterns, visual design, and user rights.
Until then, it’s on us.
If you’re building for kids, consider printing your own set of ethical labels. Stick them on the wireframes. Add them to the QA checklist. Talk about them with your team.
They don’t have to be perfect. They just have to be real.
Final Thought
Design isn’t neutral. It teaches. It nudges. It builds habits. It builds trust.
Designing ethically doesn’t just protect children, it empowers them. It gives them confidence. It tells them they’re safe, they’re capable, and they’re seen.
So let’s build like it matters. Because to them, it absolutely does.
